- No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
- When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
- Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
- You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
- Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
- Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
- Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.
- Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
- School lunches stick to the wall.
- You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Don't wear polka dot underwear under white shorts.
- The best place to be when you are sad is in Mommy's or Daddy's lap.
| This is based on a humorous mailing from Mikey's Funnies, an informal service of Youth Specialties. Mikey emails a wholesome funny once a day if you subscribe to his service. Thanks, Mikey ! |  |